Monkey on my back

This week held two big benchmarks along my journey - returning to work full time and progressing to eating "soft foods." My first day back to work went fine, I felt great all day. Then on Tuesday, I had really, really low energy. I hung in there all day, but took a 3 hour nap when I got home. I felt like I wasn't getting enough protein or water. Wednesday I progressed to soft foods, so I had 1/2 a scrambled egg for breakfast, 4 ounces of tuna & cottage cheese for lunch and a very small piece of grilled tilapia & canned mixed veggies for dinner. I never felt better. Best food ever! I also made a better effort to slowly sip water all day long. Thursday I had really low energy again and ended up coming home about 3pm. This process involves completely relearning how to eat. Not only do I eat much smaller portions than before, but I have to chew each bite 30 times and cannot drink with meals. It's a challenge. I have three social events coming up this weekend with food involved and I think that will be hard for me. Today I wasn't feeling good and all I wanted to be able to do was eat a normal meal. My old normal. I was craving sour cream chicken enchiladas. I'm going to try and find a healthy, maybe pureed version without a tortilla to satisfy that craving. But I still miss the old version which also included tons of good ol' chips and salsa and maybe rice and beans too. That mental hunger is still a monkey on my back, but I'm working on it, day by day.