Ah, the joys of pureed foods...

I've had lots of people ask me what I can eat now, so I thought I'd share it here. I usually start with a 4-6 oz. protein shake in the morning. Right now I'm in the pureed food stage, so today for lunch I had pureed black beans, fat free sour cream and salsa. Again, about 4-6 oz. For dinner, I got a little more creative. I quickly did a sort of noodless lasagna bake, layering sliced zuchini, mushrooms, fat free ricotta cheese, fat free parmesan, fat free mozarella and low sugar veggie marinara sauce, baked it for 10 minutes to soften, then pureed it. OMG, yum. I took about five bites and was full. Argh! It tasted so delicious, I wanted to keep eating. But my sleeve wouldn't let me. Sigh.

I'm stalling at 25 total pounds lost, including pre- and post-surgery. This is where I always get stuck when on diets, at 25 pounds. It's like my body freaks out and starts storing fat for the winter or something. I started to worry that I'm a freak of nature and maybe this surgery has already stopped working. Jill assures me that this sometimes happens. You will stall, then lose a bunch of weight all of a sudden. I'll keep you posted. Please pray I'm not a freak.

22 Minutes

First I want to say that today, August 13, would have been my dad's 65th birthday. I miss him every day and of course he's been on my mind a lot lately. Today wasn't a sad day, though. Me, Jeff, Carla & Jill met at his grave to pay our respects. Jill and I got there a tad earlier, so we decided to walk around the cemetery. I needed to walk anyway. They ask you to walk several times a day post-surgery and at about the 6 week mark I'll be cleared for more strenuous workouts. Who am I kidding? I may be down 16 pounds, but walking is still difficult for me! We'll see about strenuous workouts.

About 7pm tonight, I remembered that I needed to get more walking in, so I went to the gym at my apartments. Turns out Saturday night is a good time to go, it was completely empty! I put my iPod on shuffle and listened to the most interesting mix of music: The Killers, Imogen Heap, Alanis Morrissette, The Beatles...and that was about the point I wanted to stop. I was almost at 15 minutes, the longest I'd walked at once since surgery. But then John Denver's Rocky Mountain High came on. You cannot stop the iPod when RMH comes on (it's the law), so I kept walking. I smiled because John Denver was my dad's favorite...I felt like daddy sent me a song to help me keep going. After that, even though I was over 15 minutes at this point, Frankie Valli's Oh What A Night played. Mom loved the musical Jersey Boys and Valli's music. So you guessed it, I kept walking, because this was clearly sent to me from momma! I stopped my iPod and the treadmill when I hit 22 minutes and that song was over! Just for grins, I did check to see what the next song would have been. Duran Duran's Union of the Snake...ha!

Sweet 16

I am now down 16 pounds since my surgery nine days ago. I am in complete shock. Recovery is going well...I'm off the pain meds completely and slowly relearning how to eat with a sleeve. It's a journey, that's for sure. OMG. Sixteen pounds. Unbelievable.

Lasagna!

Yesterday Jill helped me clean out my cupboard and get rid of any foods I can't eat and then when went shopping for some yummy pureed food/baby food I can now eat. I was craving lasagna and one of us said, "I doubt there's a baby food lasagna." I initially picked up a Smart Ones lasagna that I'm gonna blend up and maybe add some tomato sauce to. But then, miraculously, we found lasagna in the baby food aisle! We also found Turkey Tettrazini, Macaroni and Cheese and Chicken & Rice. I actually said out loud in the baby food aisle, "Mmmmmmmmmm!" We had to laugh at that. And for the record, the baby food lasagna wasn't half bad...kinda tasted like Spaghettios!

Part Two

Part 1 of my weight loss journey was the surgery. Part 2, and maybe the most important part, is the lifestyle change. The surgery alone will not make me successful. You have to be ready to make these changes. It took me many years to finally be honest with myself and realize that it was time for a change. Maybe it was losing both parents to cancer at the age of 60 within 4 years. Maybe it was the fact that I turn 40 next year. Maybe it was seeing how successful my sister and some other dear friends have been with their surgeries. Whatever it was, I'm thankful I finally took the plunge!

One of the most important parts of this journey is the emotional aspect. I'm reading a great book that was recommended to me by my surgeon's office. It's called The Emotional First Aid Kit: A Practical Guide to Life After Bariatric Surgery. It looks like it's going to be really helpful. Highly recommend it for anyone considering weight loss surgery or for anyone who wants to understand it better. I just read a section about self-talk. If you've known me for any length of time, you probably know that while I try to be positive outwardly, I have the worst negative self-talk! I would NEVER talk to another person the way I talk to myself. I don't know why I do this, but I've worked on changing that for a long time. I love that there are some recent songs out right now that emphasize being good to yourself. Pink's "Perfect" is my new anthem. One of the things the book said to do is to think of your mind as a radio. You can choose to tune into the negative self talk station or tune into the positive self-talk station. My natural instincts are to be pessimistic, so it's a daily struggle for me to tune into the positive station. But keeping my dial tuned in there will only help me be successful on this journey! So if you see/hear me being negative, remind me to retune my dial! :)

mourning the loss of food

“All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.”
~ Anatole France

I’ve known for a long time that I was addicted to food. I ate when I was happy, sad, bored, etc. What I didn’t realize was just how strong “head hunger” can be. We are deluged with images and suggestions of food – it’s everywhere! TV commercials, advertisements and the endless string of fast food chains. I knew to expect head hunger after my surgery and I’ve really been struggling with it the last few days. I’m still recuperating, so I’m watching a lot of TV and movies. Have you ever noticed how big a role food plays in entertainment? Holy cow. I can’t get away from images of pizza, hot dogs, Chinese take out and Starbucks! I did not count on it being this hard. I’m not hungry – I’m eating cream soups, protein shakes and sugar free jello – and it fills  me up. And if I tried to eat something like pizza or a hot dog, I would get violently ill and potentially damage my new stomach “sleeve,” so trust me, that is not happening. Still, head hunger keeps creeping up on me! I miss the shear habit of eating too. I miss sitting down and eating something as simple as a sandwich. Oh my God, a sandwich!

Luckily, in a few days, I progress to pureed foods like mashed potatoes, yogurt and applesauce. Hooray! Then next week, I can start eating soft foods like cottage cheese, scrambled eggs and canned veggies. Eventually I’ll add back in meats and fresh veggies and fruits and be able to eat about what is served on a child’s plate in restaurants. I will survive this…I can do this. And eventually that head hunger will dissipate. I feel like I’m mourning the act of being able to eat. That probably sounds silly to some of you, but that’s what this journey is about for me – leaving my old life behind and starting a new, healthier one. So I need to be patient with myself as I start this new life. I’m leaving the old behind, but just look at what I’m gaining! (err, losing!) ;)

TEN!!!

Oh my God! When I weighed earlier today, I had to do a double take. I have lost 10 pounds already! Holy cow. I can hardly believe it. That, combined with my pre-op diet weight loss of 9 means I'm already almost down 20 pounds. Today was the first day that I felt well enough to celebrate the results! I've now set a goal to lose a certain amount by Oct. 16, the weekend before a good friend's wedding. If I can reach that goal, I might just have to buy a new dress for the wedding!

I also took my first adventure outside the house. Jill and I went to the pharmacy and to my apartment to check on my kitties. It was good to see them! Miss those little boogers. Big thank yous to my brother Jeff and Aunt Becky for taking care of them while I've been recuperating! That little trip wore me out, though. Amazed at how much surgery kicks your butt.