You've been warned...

OMG, my surgery is two days away! Tomorrow I have to be on an all clear liquid diet, no food at all, so suddenly this low carb thing ain’t looking so bad. It’s been a rough weekend – I’m a nervous wreck. First, my computer went out and is in for repairs, so I haven’t been able to blog. I started this blog as a way to get all the emotions of this journey out. (Thanks to my sister for letting me borrow her computer to write this.) Then, something really stressful happened at work just before I left for two weeks to have major surgery. Could have done without that drama. And for some reason I have been crying at the drop of a hat all weekend. I miss my parents and wish they could be here to see this. I know they are watching over me and I have two of the best angels ever for surgery day! But still, I wish they were here. I’m excited, don’t get me wrong, but I’m also frightened about the journey. My life will never be the same. I will never be able to sit and eat an entire pint of ice cream in one sitting. Thank God. I will have to find other things to focus on and turn to besides food. Panic! What will that be? They say they watch patients to be sure they don’t turn to other destructive, negative behaviors like drugs and alcohol. Maybe I’ll write more! Or maybe I’ll start painting or doing crafts more. I used to love doing crafts! Maybe I’ll finally finish that screenplay I started writing more than 10 years ago! The opportunities are endless. I know that this is a new beginning for me and I’m trying to stay focused on the positive. But that didn’t stop me from sending my siblings a “what to do if something happens to me email” earlier today. My sister laughed at me for it, but wouldn’t you rather know what songs someone wants at his or her funeral than to guess? For the record, I asked for Imagine by John Lennon, All This Joy by John Denver, the hymn This is My Father’s World and some Journey song. Doesn’t matter which one, just Journey. Tomorrow I am sleeping late, drinking some breakfast, getting a massage and then going to a 2 hour pre-op appointment. If you see me, it might be a good idea to avoid me since I will not be able to eat real food. I don’t think it’s going to be pretty. You’ve been warned! ;)